Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
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I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
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After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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