DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize