If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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