this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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