I'm gonna have a badass scar
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
