Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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