I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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