i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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