I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
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I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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