The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
