My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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