I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
