I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
