i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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