Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
