ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
