My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
