we're blogging at a bar
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
