Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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