Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize