i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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