I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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