Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
