you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
