These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
