It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
