god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
