I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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