3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
