She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
