We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
