Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
