you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
