I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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