There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
