office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
This baby is an asshole
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
