I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
