i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
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Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
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I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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