Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
