You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
