It's Friday. Sex?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
