You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
