This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
