i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
