Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
