In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So many bounce houses so little time
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
