I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Less talking, more tequila
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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