Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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