Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
