it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
