You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
