A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
