I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
