I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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