I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
do herpes really smell.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
