then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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