I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
