Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
