If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
