Im at strip club and am horny
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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