Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
