I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
