god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
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Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
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I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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