your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
we're so committed to being not committed
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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