His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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