apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
