Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
