I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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