Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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