yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
