Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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