His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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