If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
