are you so shy because you have an std?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
